Conversations with God 2 – Obedience

This is frustrating, this is annoying and I want to scream and shout at God in anger. Why am I being blocked?

What can’t I do that things I want to do?

I can’t see the bigger picture, all I can see is that i’ve got ideas, plans and enthusiasm to record and publish videos and all I keep hearing is ‘no, don’t publish those videos’.

I’ve been hearing this message for a little while now, and I remember the first time I heard it, I was on my knees praying and there was a soft but distinctive voice

Stop publishing those videos

My heart sank, I felt this feeling of being physically blocked by something. I went quiet, there was complete silence in my room and I just waited, waited to see if there was anything else God was going to say. Then I remembered something one of my spiritual leaders and brothers said

If you feel like God has given you a word, ask why, pray over it and then test it

So I did

God why do you want me to stop this thing that I love?

Now I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this before, but when I have conversations with God, when he replies, I can hear God’s voice so clearly, and this shouldn’t really be a surprise, because there are numerous scriptures that tell us we can and should speak to God and he will respond. Not to mention examples of when God spoke to people in the Bible, e.g. With Moses and the burning bush

So when I asked the question, God’s response was:

‘Because who are you glorifying? If this is all to get people to praise and worship you, or furthermore to get people to praise and worship themselves, then this is wrong, because reliance on self can only get you so far.’

And that was it, it was like a rude awakening. Although I still felt frustrated, since reconnecting with God, i’ve had a couple of these moments where i’ve chosen to listen to God and therefore give up something that I deemed as important, all for a higher cause or purpose that God has planned.

Although it was painful, although it was frustrating, the word that came to mind was ‘obedience’. Literally defined as:

Complying or willing to comply with an order or request, submissive to another authority.’

God’s authority is the final authority in my life. He created me, moulded me, sent his son to die for me and is now the lead conductor of this orchestra, so his call has to come first. Now this doesn’t mean that I won’t ever do videos again, and it doesn’t mean that I don’t have questions, fears and doubts about whether this was even God’s real voice.

These are all relevant fears, but instead of me trying to convince you through my own intellect, let’s use God’s words

‘Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding’ – Proverbs 3:5

Read it back, not some, not a little, but ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding. My own understanding says things like:

‘But i’ve got all these ideas, why would I wait?’

‘If I don’t put out content out, i’ll get left behind’

‘People might start questioning me: “I thought you were Mr consistency? What happened to you?”

”If you’ve got lots of ideas, what are you waiting for?’

The answer is, I had to wait on God.

When he moves, I move

Peace x

Don’t be afraid to question everything, rip it all apart and start anew’ – Carl Konadu

Remember to join the Year of the Wolf movement, let’s climb this hill together

Have a good day!